50 Things You Must Love in Order to Be Me: A List

1. finally biting into a butterscotch candy
2. showing off your dark red American Apparel boxer briefs in public
3. confusing kindergardeners until they forget why they were mad and just giggle
4. the song "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell
5. cream of Wheat with brown sugar and vanilla and butter and toast
6. kissing girls on their necks
7. girls' necks in general
8. getting drunk with Shane and then we walk somewhere hella far away
9. that thin layer of sour cream at the bottom of Mom's peach crepes
10. skateboarding really fast down the street
11. Mom
12. Indian Palace Lunch Buffet
13. winning really tight games
14. winning, and really crushing someone
15. finally being satisfied with a piece of art
16. looking at yourself in the mirror at the gym
17. honey-walnut prawns and table-score fried rice
18. when girls wrap their legs around yours
19. waking up with the SF fog and not being hungover, but still drunk and giggly
20. finding a cool new park
21. System of a Down
22. playing in a park when you know nobody will see you (or maybe you just don't care who sees)
23. girls on the BART making eyes with you
24. when you fake-pivot backhand and your mark bites on it, leaving you open to drop the flick bomb
25. hella good mashed potatoes
26. boiled potatoes with mexican ketchup
27. the movie and the book Fight Club
28. eating your Mom's tortillas before she's even done making them, with butter
29. beating Shane and Pat at stuff
30. masturbating.
31. finishing a shitload of homework that had seemed impossible hours before
32. forcing people to slap, and drink out of, a bag of Franzia wine
33. pineapple
34. IHOP french toast platter with a side of hash browns
35. killing at Beer Pong
36. having your picture taken
37. being the 'fun' friend who is always thinking of random shit to do
38. watching funny YouTube videos with Connor
39. your job
40. cracking your back really good in the morning
41. when you catch a good wave right to the end with no sand or salt in your nose
42. the waffles we make at Chappy's house with melted butter
43. catching a disc over somebody
44. heckling someone really bad
45. getting lost in the forest or the city
46. just talking with someone without feeling uncomfortable
47. ROAD TRIPS
48. Oreos and milk
49. girls with sexy tattoos
50. good storytelling