It was Mid-April 2007, in the back of an RV, that I decided I wanted to be a vegetarian. The decision had been a few months coming, inspired mainly by an article in Oakland Magazine highlighting the ecological detriment caused by eating meat (See #16, Live Lighter). Being a boy who inhaled In-N-Out Double Doubles and Hahn's Hibachi BBQ Chicken, the decision was not an easy one but eventually I learned so much in opposition to the carnivorous diet that I nearly had no choice but to stop, lest I sacrifice my morals.
For me, not eating meat is a matter of social and ecological responsibility. While I don't necessarily want to explain my argument in it's entirety, I will say that eating meat in the way that our culture does appears to be a selfish, inefficient, wasteful and destructive process that simultaneously works against fighting world hunger and the preservation of our natural environment. (Though I wont promise I agree with everything on this website, www.goveg.com has alot of good information on the arguments against meat-eating and for vegetarianism/veganism. Plus there's a video of Alicia Silverstone naked; which is reason enough).
But now, with my little bit of preaching over, I have to admit that this post will also serve as confession. More than a year has passed since I made the pledge to be vegetarian, but I can't pretend that I never have never felt a craving for meat, nor that in that time a piece of meat hasn't made it into my stomach. Weakness and self-deluding justification have led me to meat, whether intentionally or not, on numerous occasions and each time it was delicious and satisfying while at the same time garnering shame and a sense of lacking willpower. The list isn't extraordinarily long, it's not as if I were eating meat even once a month, and I feel good in the fact that I can remember each individual trespass as it's own individual story:
Mid-April 2007 - Salami Sandwich
It was Spring Break and I was on a trip with my family. The night before I had declared I was vegetarian and symbolically didn't eat Trip-Tip steak for dinner but the next day, not yet used to the idea, I ate a salami sandwich for lunch without even thinking. I don't even like salami.
Late-May 2007 - Hot Link
We were at an Ultimate tournament in Oregon and I told Connor, a vegetarian of 8 years, that if he ate a hot dog I would eat one. He slammed the whole thing in his mouth with one bite and I, so excited to have seen him do it, ate a hot link.
Early-July 2007 - Pepperoni Pizza
At Potlatch, another Ultimate tournament, I was completely wasted when Hannah and I came upon several boxes of hot, fresh pizza. There was no cheese (I looked!) and after a few futile attempts at pulling the pepperoni off in the dark, I said 'Fuck it' and ate like 6 slices.
Late-July 2007 - Carls Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburger (Rumor)
I have to include this, just to get Jasmine off my back. After the comedy show in downtown SF we went to Carl's Jr. We had killed almost two bags of Franzia between us. I ordered criss-cut fries. Someone else didn't finish their Cheeseburger. I almost! ate it just like that, but realized my mistake and took the patty/bacon out before eating it like a grilled cheese. I don't give a damn what you saw Jasmine, I know what happened.
The first two weeks of November 2007
I ate meat at my whim during the final two weeks of my train trip. Something about being anonymous in a city with nobody to hold me accountable made this an exciting thing (somewhere along the lines of telling strangers my name was Hunter, or speaking in an accent when asking for directions). The first time was in New Orleans and when I ordered my breakfast, I thought the waitress was going to know I was vegetarian and that I was breaking my moral code. She brought me my eggs without comment, and from there on I was free:
New Orleans - Jambalaya Omelette (Shrimp and Crab)
New Orleans - Bacon, Fried Egg and Grits(!)
Chicago - Edwardo's Deep Dish Sausage Pizza
Chicago - 2 Pastrami Sandwiches I found in the fridge at the hostel
Chicago - Ham and Egg Omlette
Ft. Worth, Texas - Fried Chicken, Fried Catfish, Chicken Strips
Late November - 2007
Hameed came by my apartment and told me he would buy me some Chicken Katsu if I got out of bed and went with him. Still rubbing my eyes (how was Hameed awake earlier than I was?) I told him I was down, noting that he didn't know I was vegetarian. We went, we ate, and returned to me apartment to play chess. My roommate Rachel was talking with her boyfriend Tommy and somehow my vegetarianism was brought up. Hameed looked at me, "Wait, you're not a vegetarian, you just ate Chicken today. Wait. What?" I still don't know why I ate that Katsu, it just felt right.
Late December 2007 - HBC Chicken (Rumor)
Julie, Lacie and Jill somehow got convinced that I was eating chicken while I was drunk at the Harbor Bay Club Christmas Party, which was entirely untrue (except for the drunk part). For some reason I had switched places with David Ogata and was sitting in front of his plate, which was confused with mine. Case Closed.
January 9th 2008 - Kangaroo Sausage
Oh man, I ate a Kangaroo sausage. In Australia.
Late January 2008 - Honey Walnut Prawns
My sister Sara took me out to dinner in Downtown Oakland at 2:30 in the morning (Fortune Restaurant, good fucking stuff) and when the waitress came by, I hadn't looked at the menu yet. I panicked and ordered what I always used to; Honey Walnut Prawns. Best food I've ever had in my life, not an ounce of regret.
April 14-May 28 2008 - Mexican Seafood
My issue with eating fish is that the fish we eat here is either farmed, or caught in these huge mile-long nets that they just drag through the ocean (catching more than just fish and way more than is needed). In the little fishing village I was staying in in Mexico, the old men would walk out to the rocks with fishing line and hooks and catch the fish, crabs and shrimp one by one, and only as much as was going to be eaten. I was okay with that and therefore had some bomb-ass shrimp pastas, fish quesadillas and tacos and crab soup.
That's it. All of my transgressions out on the table. I still call myself a vegetarian. I still think I am in some way saving the world. But at the same time, somewhere in the back of my mind, you know I'm dreaming of BLTs and Chicken n' Waffles.
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