in tough times we are given alot of options for escape, or distraction. Imagine you're emotionally shaken, for whatever reason, the number of routes to which you can turn for numbing are endless; turning up your headphones real loud, turning on the TV, turning to that one girl you know would give you sex. And choosing these things is easy, who wants to deal with pain head-on when you can dull the blow? Whether it be with sex or drugs or whatever other distraction, it might almost be instinct to want to sidestep into separate realities while we hurt.
In my case, I got all the way to Park Street before I turned off my iPod. What good was yelling Cage lyrics really going to do me? Steam blown becomes emotion lost before blaring into dullness.
*** *** ***
Past the first few innocent conversations the talking became trifling and, as good as it felt, it wasn't right by me.
After much deliberation on both sides, it became pretty clear that it was separation we needed.
If it ends up that I'm what you want, why don't you call me when your boyfriend is out of the picture?
and it worked in theory. in Facebook messages and telephone calls. We knew what was right, we knew what needed to be done.
but the reality ends up being that that separation isn't really possible.
what now?
2 comments:
what do you mean what now? what the fuck do you expect? what do you want? think about it!
it's a shitty situation, case closed. stop whining and just deal with it.
my blog is self-therapy.
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