There are always certain memories that, for whatever reason, stick out more than others. Trivial things just as much as important - I can remember a certain but unimpressive haircut I was given at the age of 7 - for some reason certain moments just seem to stick while most of the others fade away. In the free moments while I let my head wander, I organize these into little strings, trying to find some connection between them, some reasoning to their presence or pattern.
I AM A FUCKING GOD. I am am infinite source of energy, I am an unstoppable force that's bigger and stronger and faster than anyone else; there is nothing that I cannot do. There is nothing that I do not own. I am screaming these things to myself out loud as I run into the Oakland hills in the rain, shirtless; I really believe them. People have told me before that I couldn't do something and it makes me furious - it boils up inside my stomach and I carry it everywhere - I can remember almost none of the positive encouragement I've received but every time I've been set a limit.
"Yeah I think you're really good at High School ultimate but I don't think you'd have a chance getting onto one of the elite College teams, those guys take it pretty seriously."
The next year Ego was asking about me on the sidelines at Westerns, I talked with Stanford that same year, was told to apply for the Mamabird Junior's Scholarship..
"A marathon Tommy? People train for years to be able to run something like that. I know you think you're unstoppable but you can't just one day up and decide you're going to run a marathon, you'll hurt yourself."
I mailed her an envelope with my first place medal in it and an index card that said FUCK YOU.
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