New Years Eve 2017

new years eve 2017

one last wordshit before this year is over
before i disappear into the desert 

-

thomas sanchez reaction machine 2017

i have no trajectory of my own

something happens and then i react to it
my path is a chasing from task to task

the girls call

you should come over tonight
you should fly out here
i'll be in town on this date and that

and i react to them

my work calls

we're looking for someone to
there's this significant responsibility that
can you stay through the weekend?

and i react to them

this list goes on and on

-

i'm prehypertensive
i'm nervous and constantly tapping
the doctor is looking me right in the face
"do you have a lot of stress in your life?"

the insides of my mouth are raw and bloody

"if there's one thing you can do for your health
you should try and slow down
try to find wonder and beauty in ordinary moments"

he's right and still i want to scream at him
hey
dude
i dance in my kitchen alone at 5am
i laugh out loud while reading books
what the fuck do you know about my wonder quotient

it's just these other people that spin me off of my orbit
if i didn't need people so badly
if i didn't love so many people
then this wouldn't be a problem

-

i'm headed to death valley tonight 

to do some camping
to slow and center and set intentions for the coming year

thank you so much for reading in 2016
i'll see you in the next

-

atm1