"
R wrote something in her blog that spun me off my axis. the idea that she can spin me off my axis with twelve words from 300 miles
"i am wondering about you like a mouth presses its lips towards water"
what a lame metaphor. or simile i guess. it doesn't describe my experience even slightly.
like a mouth towards water - that doesn't work because you've never known thirst. hot under the phoenix sun except, lying on an air-conditioned floor, diluting gatorade with water.
i'm wondering about you like a mouth obsessively chews a sore on the cheek. compulsive, constant, all-day biting. like a mouth that draws blood but still cannot stop
i am wondering about you like a mouth wonders if the soup is too hot and then completely scalds its insides, but keeps going back for more. desperate to eat, feeling that raw burned-ness for days and days after
i am wondering about you like a mouth after a toothless dream, frantically searching with the tongue for whatever might be missing
fuck your metaphor it's not enough. fuck ah wei wei and fuck the other girls stretched out on my living room floor, or in the downtown oakland whole foods. they're civil engineers they're rock climbers they're light and dark-skinned they're saying basically all of the exact same things and still they're not you
"
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