That is not toast. That is a revelation.

i got a new roommate
he's tall he's brown
he's a chef at a restaurant with three michelin stars
also he sold me seven grams of xxxxxxxxx the other day.
i was grateful because i didn't even have to leave my house

anyways

he didn't bring alot of stuff but he did bring a waffle maker
a really nice one
and i was like 'dude lets have a waffle-off
i make a mean vegan waffle'
and he said

without flinching

'i will fucking bury your waffles son
you really have no idea
i will toast sage leaves
i will clarify butter
i will measure the batter's pH
do not challenge me about cooking ever again'

and then he took a sip of his budweiser

-

i'm really glad he lives here