Wednesday, December 20, 2017

thoughts, post run

thought 1:

it's a lie when i say i'm motivated by love

i am not now and i never have been

i'm motivated by hate and violence and darkness
i'm obsessed with it, i seek it out

pain, hurt, negativity

nothing pushes me more


___________


thought 2:

i spend my whole life trying to hold my self back

the dirty, nasty self

the self that will cut his friends, who will treat his lovers badly
who cheats, steals, thinks of himself first and only

it takes so much energy
it's only a matter of time before my vigilance slips

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